parcelatoThe children’s things when you separate
The children’s things follow the children.
- Mark the children’s things first
- Keep them out of the negotiation
- Agree each one in writing
Mark the children’s things together before anything else, keep them out of the negotiation, and agree each one in writing so they follow the children.
Make a fair list, freeIn 4 steps
- STEP 1
Mark the children’s things first
Before you discuss anything else, walk the home and mark what belongs to the children: their furniture, toys, books, clothes, drawings and gifts.
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Before you discuss anything else, walk the home and mark what belongs to the children: their furniture, toys, books, clothes, drawings and gifts. Do this together, so neither of you is deciding alone.
STEP 2Keep them out of the negotiation
The children’s things are not traded against the sofa. Agree that they follow the children, whatever happens with the rest.
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The children’s things are not traded against the sofa. Agree that they follow the children, whatever happens with the rest. If the children live in two homes, agree which things go where.
- STEP 3
Ask the children, kindly
Depending on their age, ask the children what they want in each home.
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Depending on their age, ask the children what they want in each home. Their favourite things should be where they sleep most. Record their wishes too.
- STEP 4
Agree each item, in writing
Each thing is proposed by one of you and agreed by the other.
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Each thing is proposed by one of you and agreed by the other. Nothing changes until both agree. If you cannot agree, mark it to discuss with your mediator.
What happens in the video: Nora and Marco mark the rocking horse and the box of drawings as the children’s, and both agree. The bunk beds go where the children sleep most. Biscuit approves.
Checklist
Where families fall out, and how to avoid it
Gifts to the children belong to the children. Agree that first, then discuss the rest.
Agree which home each thing goes to, and record it, so the children are not caught in the middle.
Nothing counts until both of you agree, in writing, in a record you both see.
How this differs by country
Arrangements for children are decided by the parents, and by courts or mediators where needed. Parcelato records what you both agree; it is not legal advice.
Questions families ask
Who keeps the children’s things when parents separate?
Usually the children do: their things follow them to where they live. Agree that first, together, before the rest.
Should children’s things be part of the settlement?
Most families agree they should not. Keeping them out reduces conflict and protects the children.
What if the children live in two homes?
Agree which things go to each home, starting with what the children ask for.
What if we cannot agree?
Mark the item to discuss and take it to your mediator. Nothing changes until both of you agree.
Can our mediator see the record?
Yes, if you both invite them. They can read and comment, not change anything.
Free for the first 50 founding families
No card. Founding families keep the early-bird price for life.
Parcelato keeps the record: who uploaded what, who decided, and when. For the law in your state or country, take the record to a lawyer or notary. It makes their hour shorter.
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Sources
Last reviewed 31 October 2026. Written and reviewed by the Parcelato team. We update guides when rules or our product change. Questions or corrections: info@parcelato.com.