parcelatoLetter of wishes: who gets what, in your own words
Her things, her wishes, in her own words.
- Start with the things people will ask about
- One name and one reason each
- Share it while you are here
List the things people will ask about, write one name and one reason for each, add a photo, and share it with the family while you are here. Keep it next to the will, not instead of it.
Write your wishes, freeIn 5 steps
- STEP 1
Start with the things people will ask about
Walk the house and list the ten or twenty things someone is likely to ask for: a watch, a ring, the piano, the garden tools, a painting.
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Walk the house and list the ten or twenty things someone is likely to ask for: a watch, a ring, the piano, the garden tools, a painting. Ask the family what matters to them. Most of the house will never be argued over; these few things will.
STEP 2Say who, and say why
Next to each thing, write one name and one sentence of reason: “The sewing machine to Lucy, because she learned on it.” The reason is what keeps the peace later.
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Next to each thing, write one name and one sentence of reason: “The sewing machine to Lucy, because she learned on it.” The reason is what keeps the peace later. It tells everyone the choice was about the person, not about money.
- STEP 3
Photograph each thing
A photo removes the “which ring?” question. Give each thing a photo, a name and a condition, and keep the wish next to it.
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A photo removes the “which ring?” question. Give each thing a photo, a name and a condition, and keep the wish next to it. If something is valuable, add a receipt or a valuation so the family knows what it is worth.
- STEP 4
Share it while you are here
Show the family your wishes now. They can ask questions, say “I’d like it” for things nobody was chosen for, and tell you about things you did not know mattered to them.
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Show the family your wishes now. They can ask questions, say “I’d like it” for things nobody was chosen for, and tell you about things you did not know mattered to them. Nothing moves yet; the things stay with you.
- STEP 5
Keep it next to the will, not instead of it
A letter of wishes is usually not legally binding on its own.
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A letter of wishes is usually not legally binding on its own. Tell your lawyer or notary it exists, and mention it in the will if your country allows that. Keep it up to date: when you give something away, record it.
What happens in the video: Mom marks the sewing machine for Lucy, with the reason “she learned on it”. Dad marks his toolbox for Ben. The letter of wishes is added and checked, and every wish keeps its reason.
Checklist
Where families fall out, and how to avoid it
Write one name per thing. If two people were promised the same thing, decide it now, while the person who promised can explain.
Share it while you are here. A letter found in a drawer later raises more questions than it answers.
Write the reason, not the value. If fairness in money matters, say so: equal value, or a payment between siblings.
How this differs by country
A letter of wishes is not legally binding, but executors usually follow it. It can sit alongside a will that leaves personal things to the executors to distribute.
Many states allow a written list of personal property referenced in the will (a “tangible personal property memorandum”). Rules differ by state.
Forced-heirship rules limit how much a parent can freely leave, but wishes about specific personal things are still useful guidance for the heirs.
Questions families ask
What is a letter of wishes?
A short note, separate from the will, that says who you would like to have particular things and why. It guides the family and the executor.
Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
Usually not on its own. Some places allow a list of personal things referenced in the will. Ask a lawyer or notary where you live.
How do I write a letter of wishes?
List the things people will ask about, write one name and one reason for each, add a photo, date it, and tell the family it exists.
Should I say why?
Yes. One sentence of reason (“she learned on it”) prevents most arguments later, because it shows the choice was about the person.
Does Parcelato replace a will?
No. Parcelato keeps the record of your things and your wishes. The will stays with your lawyer or notary.
Free for the first 50 founding families
No card. Founding families keep the early-bird price for life.
Parcelato keeps the record: who uploaded what, who decided, and when. For the law in your state or country, take the record to a lawyer or notary. It makes their hour shorter.
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Sources
Last reviewed 31 October 2026. Written and reviewed by the Parcelato team. We update guides when rules or our product change. Questions or corrections: info@parcelato.com.