parcelatoHelping a parent downsize: they decide, the family helps
Your parent decides. The family helps.
- Agree the roles
- Sort each thing into five
- Vote when two people ask
Your parent decides what comes and who gets the rest. Helpers sort and suggest, the family asks once for what they would like, and when two people ask for the same thing, the family votes.
Make the moving list, freeIn 5 steps
- STEP 1
Agree the roles first
Your parent decides what comes with them and who gets the rest.
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Your parent decides what comes with them and who gets the rest. Helpers sort, photograph, carry and suggest. If your parent cannot decide everything, they can name one helper to decide with them. Write the roles down before you start.
STEP 2Sort each thing into one of five
Comes along, for the family, sell, donate or throw away. Your parent sorts; a helper can suggest.
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Comes along, for the family, sell, donate or throw away. Your parent sorts; a helper can suggest. Start with the new home: what fits there comes along, and the rest is sorted around it.
- STEP 3
Let the family ask
Things marked for the family can be asked for. Each person taps “I’d like it” once.
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Things marked for the family can be asked for. Each person taps “I’d like it” once. If only one person asks, your parent says yes or not now.
- STEP 4
Vote when two people ask
If two people ask for the same thing, the family votes. Votes stay hidden until everyone has voted, and the rule is agreed in advance, for example: most votes wins; on a tie, Dad decides.
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If two people ask for the same thing, the family votes. Votes stay hidden until everyone has voted, and the rule is agreed in advance, for example: most votes wins; on a tie, Dad decides.
- STEP 5
Record it when it changes hands
Choosing moves nothing. When a thing really goes to someone, is sold or is donated, record it with the date.
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Choosing moves nothing. When a thing really goes to someone, is sold or is donated, record it with the date. The record moves with your parent to the new home.
What happens in the video: Dad marks his toolbox for the family. Lucy and Ben both ask for it, so the family votes, with votes hidden until everyone has voted. Ben keeps it, and Lucy agrees it was fair.
Checklist
Where families fall out, and how to avoid it
Your parent decides, not the helper who happens to be there. Show every choice in one record.
Nothing moves until it is decided and recorded. Distance should not cost anyone a say.
Ask Dad while he can answer, and write his reason down.
How this differs by country
Downsizing is a personal decision, not a legal process. If your parent has given someone power of attorney, that person may need to sign for sales; check locally.
Questions families ask
How do I help my parents downsize without taking over?
Let your parent decide what comes and who gets the rest. Helpers sort, photograph, carry and suggest, and everyone sees the same list.
What if siblings want the same thing?
Each asks once. Your parent chooses, or the family votes with a rule agreed in advance.
How do family votes work?
Everyone with a say votes once. Votes stay hidden until everyone has voted, and the result follows the agreed rule.
What if my parent cannot decide?
They can name a helper to decide with them. Write down who that is, and keep your parent informed.
Does Parcelato sell things?
No. Parcelato records what was decided and what was sold, given or donated. It never sells or holds money.
Free for the first 50 founding families
No card. Founding families keep the early-bird price for life.
Parcelato keeps the record: who uploaded what, who decided, and when. For the law in your state or country, take the record to a lawyer or notary. It makes their hour shorter.
Related guides
Sources
Last reviewed 31 October 2026. Written and reviewed by the Parcelato team. We update guides when rules or our product change. Questions or corrections: info@parcelato.com.